Tag Archives: marriage

Communicating in a Relationship


Communication is so important in a relationship. I’ve been with my husband for 20 years and still have to work to keep open lines of communication everyday.
If you can’t communicate with your spouse or significant other, you’ll never resolve any issues. I’ve found over the years that this just leads to fights over little issues when you’re really fighting over something much bigger and deeper.
In a relationship there’s no room for arrogance, ego, pride, or entitlement. If you can’t find a way to talk to your partner in a way that they can understand then let’s face it, you’re relationship will not make it through the test of time.
I’ve found one way to get my thoughts together in a non confrontational way is to write a letter to my husband. This may sound silly to most people but it accomplishes so much:
1. Express myself fully and giving myself time to think carefully about what I want to say and how I want to say it.
2. Allows my husband to take in my thoughts/feelings in a non confrontational environment
3. Gives my husband time to process what I’m REALLY trying to say to him
4. After he has had time to absorb and think about what I’ve written, it opens the door up the door for an honest and heartfelt conversation about our feelings.
If you do this and you are honest with yourself and your spouse AND take away any ego, pride, arrogance, and feelings of entitlement you may have, this is a great tool to communicate with a partner when all other methods have failed.

Life Unplanned


It’s always interesting, those moments when you step back and take stock of your life. Remembering when you were a kid and the way you imagined your grown up self would be.
How many people actually grow up to become everything they imagined they’d become as a child.
I remember telling everyone that would listen, I’m going to be a lawyer! I wonder what my younger self would think of me today.
I eventually gave up my dreams of going to law school when I found out I was pregnant at 16. That pregnancy was one of the defining moments in my life, as with most teenagers that become pregnant. I made a choice then to not become just another teenage statistic living on welfare for the rest of my life.
I have since graduated from Cosmetology School where I became licensed in Hair Design. I also completed my Bachelors Degree in Information Technology. I am married with three beautiful children (all by the same father); I’ve been with my husband for nineteen years.
There are so many people that told me how sorry they were for me when they found out I was pregnant eighteen years ago.
If I could see them today I would tell them not to worry I’m going to be just fine.
If I could travel back in time and talk to my younger self. I’d tell her that our life is going to turn out just the way it was always meant to be.

The Power of Words

It’s amazing to me how even the largest of fools has the ability to cut someone harsher and deeper than any knife ever could with the right words.

People wield words so carelessly these days.  They put no thought behind the fact that just one or two words make all the difference in a critique vs. a compliment.

Maybe it’s intentional, maybe it’s laziness, maybe it’s lack of proper vocabulary.  Whatever the cause, i’ll tell you the God’s honest truth….

Words only have power if you give them power, otherwise, they are just words.

Put your energy into something more productive than worrying about what else says or thinks about you.

Cheap Chocolate and Happiness

Sometimes it’s easy for us to treat our significant others like that cheap chocolate you get on Easter Sunday. You assume you have most of their love so you leave their feelings and needs for last at the bottom of your priority list (basket).

We forget that our significant others are not the cheap chocolate but are truly the giant chocolate bunny (our big prize piece of candy). For some of us we find that out to late and are stuck with lots of leftover cheap chocolate….

Treat your significant others better!

It’s very rare that we find someone that we can spend the rest of our lives with. If you find someone that makes you happy, consider them in your thoughts and actions.

Grass is greener where you water it; if you don’t water the grass it’s going to die, just like a relationship that’s not nurtured and cultivated. You get what you give out of everything in life (relationships-career-family).

All new relationships are fresh and new and amazing! Just like a brand new car! Everybody loves a brand new car right! Got that new car smell, shiny and clean.
Look 2 years down the road…
No more new car smell, most likely some people have banged your car door a time or two, maybe a few scratches; it’s not as shiny and new anymore.
You have to take the time to do some actual maintenance to get it nice again right…
Remember all new cars will eventually become old cars…
Find that one person in the world that you can spend the rest of your years with.

Seek out happiness in your life in whatever form you find that happiness!